By the time I got to Phoenix I was flyin'
Champagne flies of course
This really is the only way to fly
Enjoyin' the complimentary cocktails and conversation
And making passes at the steward high
Hi stewardess

By the time I made Albuquerque
Hey stewardess what's the name of that town again
(Albuquerque) oh thank you very much
Oh we're gonna have some lunch
Is this the champagne for lunch bunch
Hey stewardess come here coffee tea or me
So what does that sign up there say
In case of emergency lift flap pull knob to open door
Oh I think I'll step out for a short beer

By the time I made Oklahoma they stopped servin'
At least they cut me off
They didn't just drop me off at the nearest bar
(But sir we're thirty thousand feet up)
A littler higher than that
This here is an emergency so I lift the flap
Pull the knob and open the door
(Sir I'll have to ask you to fasten your belt)
Oh my pants fallin' down again
(Your selt belt) that's what I need another belt

You don't even know but I really gotta go
Sir you'll have to come back inside the plane OK