One studio session later

Dear magic conch shell
What can I do to erase all the heartache?
She's such a bombshell
Blowing me up like a bomb factory pastry

I haven't seen her around this town in a while
Now Bikini Bottom's not the same without her
She got my boat mobile when I was out at the fields
And hit the road, leaving me at rock bottom

I'm trying to firmly grasp it
But the ending was also tragic
Not even Man-ray'd put me
Through this kind of hell

Dear magic conch shell
What can I do to erase all the heartache?
She's such a bombshell
Blowing me up like a bomb factory pastry

She's been playing karate with someone else
And I'm all to blame
Now I'm throwing my doubloons in a wishing well
Mm, what do I do dear magic conch shell?

Try asking again
(What do I do dear magic conch shell?)

I ain't been back in that town for a while
Since I packed my dome and went back to Texas
I swear the Lone Star state will keep my lone heart safe
From another sponge giving me a heartbreak

Hang on there, little square dude
I tried my best, but my best was never good enough for you
Now I'm alone in this tree
Just thinking of you and me saying

Dear magic conch shell, what can I do to erase all the heartache?
She's such a bombshell
Blowing me up like a bomb factory pie
While I'm watching the sunrise

She's been playing karate with someone else
And I'm all to blame
Now I'm throwing my doubloons in a wishing well
Mm, what do I do dear magic conch shell?

Oh what do I do, what do I do
Dear magic conch shell?
Oh what do I do I do I do
Mm, what do I do dear magic conch shell?

Nothing