I awoke one evening in total pain
My back was aching
Driving me insane
But no pulsating pain would steal my sleep
So I leaped from bed to grab the aspirin jar
But the pain in my back said
I won't get far
Lying on the floor I saw a glimmer of light
I grabbed the phone book and to my surprise
An intriguing ad had caught my eye
1-800-MR-BONES
So I rolled to the left and grabbed the phone
And made the call to Mr. Bones
He said: I'm here to help you
And: I'm glad you called

Laying on the floor almost paralyzed
He opened the door
And caught me by surprise
He was ten foot skeleton
With glowing eyes
He grabbed my foot and threw me to the wall
He grabbed my arms and dragged me down the hall
Twisting and tying me in a knot
He finally had me rolled up in a ball
Upside-down with my back to the wall.
Then I saw him coming with a flying kick

A second later I heard a crack
And pain was gone in my lower back
With needed sigh I melted to the floor
With great relief I asked him for the bill
He said
Your money won't do
But your Les Paul will
Oh, and by the way
They call me Bones