C G Bb F C G Bb F C G Bb F C G Bb F C G Bb F [Verse 1] C G Bb F C G Bb F No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in its nest C G The company is crippling me Bb Am The worst trying to ruin the best, the best Bb C Their promotion's so lame Bb C They could never ever take it to the real ball game F G Maybe they think I'm a pet F C Well I've got all the diseases G I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because [Chorus] C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning C G Bb F It's fatal and it don't get better C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning Bb C G Bb F C G Bb F The best kept secret in the west [Verse 2] C G Bb F C G Bb F The boys and me are getting real well known around town C G Bb But every time we try to spread the action F G Am Someone always brings it down, down Bb C I ate the orange and I don't feel well Bb C For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell F C G The geriatric staff think we're freaks F C G They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks G Inaction speaks, and [Chorus] C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning C G Bb F It's fatal and it don't get better C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning Bb C N.C. The best kept secret in the west [Bridge] A G A G Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy F C G Is this a Chinese burn Am G I gotta a dinosaur for a representative F C G It's got a small brain and refuses to learn [Sax Solo] Am G F C G Am G [Bridge] Bb C Their promotion's so lame Bb C They could never ever take it to the real ball game F C G Listen I ain't a pet F C G I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set G You bet because [Chorus] C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning C G Bb F It's fatal and it don't get better C G Bb F I've got, Mercury poisoning Bb C The best kept secret in the west C G Bb F He's got, Mercury poisoning C G Bb F It's fatal and it don't get better C G Bb F He's got, Mercury poisoning Bb C The best kept secret in the west Bb C Yeah the best kept secret in the west [Outro] Bb C The best kept secret in the west Bb C The best kept secret in the west Bb C The best kept secret in the west Bb C The best kept secret in the west Bb A G F Bb C The best kept secret in the west