C G Bb F C G Bb F
C G Bb F C G Bb F
C G Bb F

[Verse 1]
   C       G                Bb           F            C   G Bb F
No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in its nest
    C          G
The company is crippling me
    Bb                       Am
The worst trying to ruin the best, the best
Bb                   C
Their promotion's so lame
           Bb                        C
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
F          G
Maybe they think I'm a pet
          F             C
Well I've got all the diseases
    G
I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because

[Chorus]
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
C    G            Bb        F
It's fatal and it don't get better
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
    Bb                      C   G Bb F C G Bb F
The best kept secret in the west

[Verse 2]
    C        G              Bb        F            C   G Bb F
The boys and me are getting real well known around town
    C             G                 Bb
But every time we try to spread the action
        F      G         Am
Someone always brings it down, down
Bb                     C
I ate the orange and I don't feel well
    Bb                          C
For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell
    F         C                 G
The geriatric staff think we're freaks
     F             C             G
They couldn't sell kebabs to the Greeks, the geeks
G
Inaction speaks, and

[Chorus]
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
C    G            Bb        F
It's fatal and it don't get better
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
    Bb                      C   N.C.
The best kept secret in the west

[Bridge]
          A          G        A            G
Is this a Russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy
F         C       G
Is this a Chinese burn
Am        G
I gotta a dinosaur for a representative
     F           C     G
It's got a small brain and refuses to learn

[Sax Solo]
Am  G  F C G
Am  G

[Bridge]
Bb                   C
Their promotion's so lame
           Bb                        C
They could never ever take it to the real ball game
F      C         G
Listen I ain't a pet
          F              C         G
I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set
G
You bet because

[Chorus]
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
C    G            Bb        F
It's fatal and it don't get better
C    G    Bb      F
I've got, Mercury poisoning
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
C    G    Bb      F
He's got, Mercury poisoning
C    G            Bb        F
It's fatal and it don't get better
C    G    Bb      F
He's got, Mercury poisoning
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
         Bb                      C
Yeah the best kept secret in the west

[Outro]
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
    Bb                      C
The best kept secret in the west
    Bb                      A   G F Bb C
The best kept secret in the west