Dr. McGee travelled over land and sea
With a miracle cure of all ailments
For the aches in your bones, no more moaning or groans
He could rapidly heal one’s impalements
People with styes came with stars in their eyes
To anoint their affairs with his ointment
But they lost all their hair
He escaped to Mon Claire
Where he basks in his gold and enjoyment

Whatever it takes to make a buck
Shear the sheep, press your luck
In other words
Just get it while you can
Whatever it takes to raise the price
Fix the books, my advice
Is dollar signs, are what makes the man

When the clock is ticking, and the tide is rolling
And you’re buried to the neck
You can feel the water boiling
Like you’re cooking in a pot
It’s not only human
To consider what you got
Whether showman or a shoeman
Oh, talent deserves respect
Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet

Smile on your face, with charm and grace
It’s how we do what we do
That’s the huckster in me
And the sucker in you
One slight of hand can make a grain of sand
Turn to a pearl
That’s the hustler in me
And we’re running the world

Orlando Higgenbottom was a ladies' man
With diamonds encrusted on his cane
He would dazzle all the women
Of a certain social standing wealthy sounding names
Gaining all their trust, ogling their bust, he must have promised
She was his one and only
With his mouth to her ear
While undoing her brassiere
One hand on her bosom and the other in a jewel cache
Filling all his pockets on the eve of their wedding day
He’s laughing down inside, she’ll never be the bride
No, thief is ever lonely

Whatever it takes to feed the wife
Milk the bank, fake the life
In other words, better get it while you can
Whatever it takes to rig the bets
Stroke the necks, ease the debts
Dollar signs are what makes the man

Show second best, pocket the rest
Any chump here will do
That’s the huckster in me
And the sucker in you
One slight of hand can make a grain of sand turn to a pearl
That’s the hustler in me
And we’re running the world

Pull the wool
Raise the stakes
Tip the hand
Take the cake
Hustlers and fakes
Do whatever it takes