Bob Rules

Dm                                                A
Twelve o'clock check out we've got an entire hour
Where is the remote, no time for the manual power
        C                          Dm
I put the name tag over the heart
On my shirt, that says 'Bob Rules'
I stood in line for days
With all the other fools
G                               D               A
And then the voice of an angel that belonged to Rob Roddy
Called my name and said 'Come on down, you're the next contestant'
Oh my God I was hyperventilating
G               D                        A  Asus  A   Asus  A
I hope I do not wake up from this dream;
Which is what it was
Dm                                             A
Janice she slipped on wearing a diamond dog collar
Still in complete shock I muttered the words 'One Dollar'
C                     Dm
Everyone else overbid,
And their eyes turned to me with rage
For my dogs will be wearing diamonds
And I get to go onstage
Dm                                              A
I picked up old Bob and I hugged him just, like a bear
He said 'Put me down son and feast your eyes over there'
C                       Dm
The sliding door was ajar,
I was a happy as I could get
For it was a brand new car--
A Chevrolet Chevette
Dm                                              A
The showcase showdown was set for a quarter to noon
My spin did not make it all the away around, I got booed
C                               Dm
So I pulled down as hard as I could
Just like they all knew that I would
I was happy to be alive
When it landed on $0.95
B                           Bb         A                  Dm
Next thing I knew I was standing next to a Marine
Who did not like her showcase and passed it on over to me
Crunching the numbers I tried to remain calm
How much is an all expenses paid trip to Guam?
Before I could answer a banging came to my door
The housekeeper said 'You must leave now or pay more -- you have dog'
C                           Dm
I guess I fell back asleep
And slept right through that show
But the next time I'm in L.A.
You know where I'm gonna go