I can't remember if I slept last night
'Cause my delusions always blur the line
So when I'm drifting out of consciousness
I feel my blood, as thick as mud, begin to clog my vacant veins
And then it all makes sense
And I start to convince myself you moved away
Just so you could get away from me
I know it's probably all hysterics
But I can't help it
It keeps me up
It's when I'm walking by your house at night
I still make sure not to close my eyes
In case you somehow reappear
Shit-faced, sitting on your front porch, and
I try hard to get myself up out of bed, but it's gotten so much harder
Without your arms to pull me upright in the morning

When I see you in my dreams, you bite
You tear out the pipe bomb trapped inside of my chest and you put it back
This time, tethered to the right side
I'm doing my best to let you do everything that you claim that you need to
But I just keep breaking
And my face is turning blue

I have this fear of dying premature
I'm scared I'll meet my casket long before I should
That's why I'm petrified in public
I know that anyone could pull out a gun and shoot me point-blank in the face
I know these nightmares don't make sense
But I have to confess that though I've learned to think
I still can't shake the surreality, and yes
I know you probably won't hear me out
I don't expect you to if it puts you down

It's when I'm walking by your house at night
I still make sure not to close my eyes
In case you somehow reappear
Shit-faced, sitting on your front porch, and
I try hard to get myself up out of bed, but it's gotten so much harder
Without your arms to pull me upright in the morning

When I see you in my dreams, you bite
You tear out the pipe bomb trapped inside of my chest and you put it back
This time, tethered to the right side
I'm doing my best to let you do everything that you claim
That you claim that you need to
But I just keep breaking
And my face is turning blue

You can catch me on the back deck, blowing my life away
As we watch the smoke ascend along with all of our responsibilities