I think I might try
To just make up my mind
And pluck up the courage
To act upon this urge
And formulate a plan
Where you're the putty
I'm the hands
On second thought no way
What would Steven Morrissey say?

He would tell you not to be foolish
Better to be sullen and mulish
The only way to keep your heart unbroken
Is to leave these words unspoken

Sure stars come out at night
But so do ghouls and other frights
We should stay inside
And talk about it while we hide.
And talk, talk, talk, talk, talk
Til one of us looks at the clock
And then talk some more
Til one of us looks at the door

If you knew what went on
Inside my head
You'd turn all shades of red
And be filled up with dread
If you knew even
Half of what I thought
You'd take off on the spot
And try not to get caught

Sure shyness may be pretty nice
But I need some better advice
I know that I'm unlovable
You do not have to tell me so
The kind of life that I have had
Would turn a shy bald Buddhist bad
Maybe if I ask politely
Morrissey would drop in for tea
But it's probably way too late
I'm guessing he already ate

I think I might try
To just put you out of my mind
You never look at me
Despite every opportunity
Had I world enough and time
Oh the pleasure would be mine
If a double decker bus
Crashed into the both us!

If you knew what went on
Inside my head
You'd turn all shades of red
And be filled up with dread
If you knew even
Half of what I thought
You'd take off on the spot
And try not to get caught