E|--3--| e|--2--   e|--3--   e|--5--
B|--3--| B|--3--   B|--5--   B|--7--
G|--4--| G|--4--   G|--5--   G|--7--
D|--5--| D|--4--   D|--5--   D|--7--
A|--5--| A|--2--   A|--3--   A|--5--
E|--3--| E|-----   E|-----   E|-----


  G         Em        Am        D

E|--3--| e|--0--   e|--0--   e|--2--
B|--3--| B|--0--   B|--1--   B|--3--
G|--0--| G|--0--   G|--2--   G|--2--
D|--0--| D|--2--   D|--2--   D|--0--
A|--2--| A|--2--   A|--0--   A|-----
E|--3--| E|--0--   E|-----   E|-----







G-III   Bm   C-III   D-V






G-III
You pull out your photos of
     Bm
Your wedding in the Spring
              C-III   
And you're confronted by your double chin
         D-V
And your bald spot glistening


G-III
You could get a membership
       Bm
At the fitness hut down the road,
             C-III
Or you could pick your mouse up and slim yourself down
    D-V
And even give yourself a 'fro.






     G-III
Your high school reunion
   Bm
Is coming next Friday
        C-III
And you know everyone will ask to see some
         D-V
Pictures of the babies that you've made.


        G-III
But the problem is your kid's head is big.
      Bm
I mean, we're talking "Alien" size here.
           C-III
Well, just cut and paste a hat, or at least a doo rag
       D-V
And it won't seem so severe.






(D-V)          G        Em
Photoshop your memories.
  Am
A picture's worth a thousand words,
     D
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt.






     G-III
Your birthday, this past Monday,
      Bm
Was a fun day, except for one thing:
     C-III
Your mother-in-law, who makes your skin crawl,
          D-V
Stuck her face in every frame.


G-III
You'd prefer to remember
     Bm
That day without her tattooed brows.
    C-III
The simplest solution: decrease the resolution
    D-V
And crop that woman out.






(D-V)          G        Em
Photoshop your memories.
Am
Your real life may be sub-par,
            D
But you can be who you want people to think you are.






(D)           G-III
Make yourself thin.
              Bm
Give yourself abs.
            C-III
Remove that mole.
            D-V
Say "No" to crack.


(D-V)               G-III
Say you went to the Alps
            Bm
In a luxury car
               C-III
With a Swedish Model.
     D-V
Just be who you want people to think you are.






(D-V)          G        Em
Photoshop your memories.
  Am
A picture's worth a thousand words
     D                               G
So a few white lies shouldn't hurt.