C Em Dm G
[Verse]
C Em
If I were a moose and you were a cow
Dm G
Would you love me anyhow?
Dm Em
Would you introduce me to your folks
F G
Would you tell your friends, "No moose jokes!"
G C Am Dm G C G
If I were a moose and you were a cow
C Em
Would you invite me to your club
Dm G
And risk a cruel bovine snub
Dm Em
Would you lead me down the receiving line
F G
And boldly boast, "This moose is mine!"
F G C Am
Would your parents watch us graze
F G C Am
Shake their heads, "It's just a phase"
Dm E7 Am Am7
Or would they thank the stars above
D G
Their precious heifer's found her love?
C Em
Would your grandparents change their will?
Dm G
They'd really expected a Holstein bull
Dm Em
"For this we toiled before the plow
F G
You bring home someone who's not even a cow
F G C Am
"There's lots of proper stock around
F G C Am
Like that nice young Guernsey at Farmer Brown's
Dm E7 Am Am7
Or that last one we ridiculed and cursed
D G
On second thought you could do worse
[Bridge]
E7 Am
"But if you think this thing will last
F G C Am
Could he learn to moo and eat our grass
F G C Am
Shed his antlers in the dirt
D7 G
Could you persuade him to convert?"
C Em
If our anatomies did not quite fit
Dm G
Would you make the best of it
Dm Em
Would you nuzzle up so near
F G
And hum sweet cow tunes in my ear?
F G C Am
Or would you sadly break it off
F G C Am
When all the hillside sneered and scoffed
Dm E7 Am Am7
"You know these moose are all the same
D G
They're lazy, they're stupid, they come from Maine"
C Em
It's true things slip a moose's mind
Dm G
That cows remember all the time
Dm Em
Bulbous nose and knobby knees
F G
A coat that harbors ticks and fleas
F G C Am
But a moose can be a handy thing
F G C Am
When hungry wolves come visiting
Dm E7 Am Am7
In icy gust of winter storm
D G
Our fur is deep and dry and warm
C Em
And someday should your milk run dry
Dm G
And farmer stare with baleful eye
Dm Em
In dead of night I'd slip your noose
F G
And lead you home to the land of moose
G C Am Dm G C G
If I were a moose and you were a cow
[like bridge]
E7 Am
If hunters came to do me harm
F G C Am
Would you hide me in the barn
F G C Am
Would all the herd come on the run
D7 G7
And glare until they dropped their guns?
[Interlude]
C Em Dm G
[Outro]
Dm Em
Might you permit a goodnight kiss
F G
Could you learn to love wet moose lips?
F G C Am F C Am
If I were a moose and you were a cow
Dm G C Am Dm G C
If you were a cow and I were a moose
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