Hey gossip-girl you're pretty funny as
You wag your finger and
You shake your head
And from your world of milk and honey
You love to see a little fame bloodshed
Oh my God I wish I was perfect
Just like you

So glad I make you smile

Why don't you slither off to bed
Like a shed reptile

My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah
My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah

Hey scandal writer
You know we love to hate
You feed us all of your venom online
My day is brighter and
Hey I think you're great
Make us inflated egos toe that line

You bring your game and you love the pain you cause
It's open season for the queen
I like it when you strap me to your guillotine

My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah
My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah

And all you lucky ones that God has
Smiled upon and made you kings
Will all come crashing down

There's a snake somewhere who'd sell
His sister to make a little TMZ cold cash
Life's a bitch and he's just a blister in
The crack of Lady's Justice's ass
You think you're a player
And so admirable too
But I think you're shit
Another monkey on the take
Yeah you make me spit

My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah
My DUI, my DUI, my DUI yeah yeah yeah