Dont Let The Bellhops Bite

Gm Cm Gm D
Gm Cm Gm D


[Verse 1]
Gm                    Cm
There's a cozy little place tucked away
Gm                                           D
Between the third and fourth circles of Hell
Gm                                            Cm
Where you can take a break, makes a great vacation
                     Gm                       D
Maybe take in just a little damnation as well
                 Gm
So ring the bell
                 Cm
We're excited to welcome you in
   Gm                              D
No time here to dwell on your sins
                 Gm
Your itinerary's fairly heavily perilous
    Cm
But let me share the various
 Gm                             D
Amenities you're getting within
              Gm
If you've got luggage
    Cm
The staff can take it through
        Gm                             D
But the baggage that's emotional, well that can stay with you
       Gm                                 Cm
You've clearly packed a bag with plans to stay a day or two
         Gm                       D
But it's pretty optimistic if you think you won't be
                  Gm                   Cm
Strewn across the floor, twisted and deformed
                         Gm                               D
Little bits of blood and gore, chewed and spit out of the maw
                    Gm                  Cm
Of a vicious set of jaws in a spiffy uniform
                     Gm
All your sins have a cost
                        Dm
But your death is complimentary, of course


[Chorus]
          Gm     Cm
It's just monkey business
         Gm      D
But with one key difference
         Gm    Cm
That the one reliving it
     Gm     D
Is beyond deliverance
          Gm        Cm
We've got one piece hidden in
      Gm           D
Deep amongst these remnants
       Gm       Cm
Of our one-time residents
       Gm              D
In our little hotel in Hell
                   Gm
Where the bellhops bite


[Verse 2]
                             Cm
We're afraid to say that the pool is closed
          Gm                   D
Since the lifeguard started to decompose
Gm                    Cm
Down here things lurk deep below
   Gm                        D
So stay clear if you want to keep your toes
Gm                       Cm
Breakfast is served till ten
Gm                           D
but no one ever wakes up to attend
                       Gm                       Cm
'Cause if you lay your head on a bed, you'll be too dead for eggs
           Gm               D
And you'll never eat bacon again
       Gm                        Cm
Our gymnasium's stocked with the best utensils
           Gm                      D
Though you ought to be running without the treadmill
    Gm                          Cm
The bar's a haunt, with all the spirits you want
          Gm                         D
They were all our last guests to get killed
         Gm                 Cm
We've so many amenities, no chance of boredom
   Gm                       D
We both know you've already seen the ballroom
  Gm                        Cm
A little reminder, you've a riddle to find
         Gm                      D
Or it is frivolous fighting your doom


[Chorus]
          Gm     Cm
It's just monkey business
         Gm      D
But with one key difference
         Gm    Cm
That the one reliving it
     Gm     D
Is beyond deliverance
          Gm        Cm
We've got one piece hidden in
      Gm           D
Deep amongst these remnants
       Gm       Cm
Of our one-time residents
       Gm              D
In our little hotel in Hell
                   Gm
Where the bellhops bite


[Verse 3]
                                Cm
Think twice before you use that phone by the bed
     Gm                       D
Room service will cost you an arm and a leg
      Gm
And a torso, a stomach
  Cm
a neck and a head
    Gm                     D
The menu's sparse, but the staff's well-fed
         Gm                 Cm
We'll provide a device that might help you find the
Gm                                 D
Shards you've been tasked with and hide from the nightmares
    Gm                          Cm                              Gm
But if you try to check the TripAdvisor, you'll likely trip and die, sir
             D                  G
"Five stars, never a survivor!"
                         Cm                        Gm
We're not winding you up, we're not letting you go
                            D                       Gm
Fish the mint from the blood pooling in the pillows
                   Cm                            Gm
Checkout is at one, not that you'll need to know
                         D                            Gm
Pay your tab at the front desk, or death will be slow
                            Cm                       Gm
We strongly urge that you defer your day's ablutions
                             D                                Gm
The concierge will start the purge before you're through them
                              Cm                 Gm
Whilst on your journey on the way to retribution
                            D
We hope that you enjoy your stay of execution


[Chorus]
          Gm     Cm
It's just monkey business
         Gm      D
But with one key difference
         Gm    Cm
That the one reliving it
     Gm     D
Is beyond deliverance
          Gm        Cm
We've got one piece hidden in
      Gm           D
Deep amongst these remnants
       Gm       Cm
Of our one-time residents
       Gm              D
In our little hotel in Hell
                   Gm
Where the bellhops bite