Oh, what's the use of this looting and pillaging
Swinging my ray-gun through blood, guts, and gore?
Raping and robbing and boozing grow boring
The life of a pirate's no fun anymore
No fun anymore, no fun anymore
It's only a job, it's no fun anymore

Always the same: all the planning and ambushing
Pouncing, attacking, and hauling away
The whoring and boozing and passing out afterwards
It's getting monotonous, day after day
Day after day, day after day
It's boring as Hell, fighting day after day

I've bounced in more beds than there's hairs on my you-know-what
I've bred enough bastards to crew my own ship
I've never had time to stay home and raise one of 'em
So what will I have when I've emptied my clip?
Emptied my clip, emptied my clip
Who'll call me "Dad" when I've emptied my clip?

I've got an itch to go do something different
Get a good farm and a nice buxom bride
Raise some tall crops and a lot of fat babies
Complacency's one sin that I've never tried!
I've never tried, I've never tried
Playing Good Citizen I've never tried