Creepy Old Guy

[Intro] B  A  E

          B
Way back when
I was just ten
Simple and sweet
      A
Everywhere
Fellas would stare
            E
Out on the street
           C#m
And I felt used
          B
Kinda confused
           E                     A
I would refuse to look in their eyes
    C#m                              F#
But now I really love creepy old guys!

We all do!

       B
Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses!

Saggy old asses!

              A
It's cute and vile

Hey baby, smile!

                  E
To each girl that passes!

(Wolf-whistling)

             C#m
They make me blush!

            B
Can't get enough!
                E                     A
Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine!
B
That's right!
C#          F#             B
Marrying my own creepy old guy!

I'm a creepy old guy!

              F#
My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy
       E             B
I'm so happy I could cry!
D#m               E                   C#          F#
Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy!

               A
My creepy old groom!

Creepy old groom!
G                G#m
Play that wedding tune
     Bm          C#
Hey folks, step aside!

I am older, but I'm glad I waited!

                     F#
'Cuz here comes the bride!
                             B
I am marrying my creepy old guy
            D               A              E
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy

              B
My creepy old guy!
            D               A              G
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!
        C
Fix his hair
Get him prepared
For Armageddon

           Bb
Sure, the groom
Crawled out of a tomb
                     F
But hey, hey, it's a wedding!
           Dm
So dim the lights
              C
Pick up some rice
               F
Say something nice!
                Bb
It's my day to shine
       D               G             C
I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy!

It's showtime!

           G
Creepy old guy, creepy old guy
       F                    C
She's marrying a creepy old guy!
     Em              F
Have you guys seen Lolita?
         D                   G
This is just like that, but fine!

            Bb               F
Creepy old dude, creepy old dude
     G#               Am
Our faith has been renewed
            Dm     D
Now love is alive!

          F             C
Wave your baby girl goodbye
      F                C
I am walking down the aisle
               Dm            C               Dm  C
I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by
                    F             Am
I know that on the outside he's disgusting
                 F               Bb
And even on the inside, he's disgusting
      C#                                  C
But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right

Making it right, making it right!

                      F
With my family by my side
    B
O-M-G
           Bm
Dressed to a T
           B
Fancy and formal
             A
I found me a wife
L'chaim! To life!
            E
This is so normal!
       C#m
I was ignored
              B
But now, I'm adored!
            E                     A
'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied
C#             F#           B
Give it up for my underage bride!

               F#
Here comes the bride
Here comes the bride
E
God be glorified!
                                                                 F#
I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright
              A
My creepy old guy
             G#m
My creepy old guy

 G          G#m       F#    C#m
Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

     C#
oh, yeah, that's right!

Yeah, that's right!

               F#
Let's make him alive!
              F#
I am marrying my creepy old guy!
Bm         B              Bm         B
Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy!
     E
Guy, guy!

        F#
I have chills!
 B
Yeeeeeeeeah!