We're here on a Friday,
This guitar is from E-Bay.
I've heard some of you say,
But Danny Tanner was not gay.

Tell me why, They lived in San Francisco?
Tell me why, They went through lots of Crisco?
Tell me why, I never slept with Dave Coulier?
But Kimmy Gibbler got it this way.

After eight years with them, in a house with two men;
They were my second family.
The last show shed a tear, then Stamos grabbed at my rear;
And, Uncle Jesse was inside of me.

Sometimes the show wasn't that funny;
But fuck you, made lots of money.
But I gave, I gave half to my ex-wife anyway.
It would've been cheaper if I had been gay.

Tell me why, Some people called me Faggot?
Tell me why, maybe 'cause my last name's Saget.
Tell me why, I suck dick for coke, but that's not the same.
That doesn't mean Danny Tanner could be gay.
Oh, oh, oh, no, Danny Tanner was not gay, like Dave Coulier. Oooohhhh.