Well mama opened up a can of worms today
Heard her on the phone trying to think of ways
That she could break the news that santa claus was fake
Mama, you crazy

Just quit your wasting money buying toys for me
They're already made -- just you wait and see
And come christmas morning they'll be under the tree, oh
So let's be lazy

And poor mama don't believe that there's a santa claus
She gave up eating chocolate, it must be the withdrawals
Or just another side effect of menopause
'cause how could someone not believe in santa claus?
Poor mama

Well daddy says we gotta get he roof replaced
Where's he gonna land? or park his sleigh?
We should probably wait 'til after christmas just in case
I'll help ya if you pay me

And poor daddy don't believe that there's a santa claus
He probably got electrocuted deckin' halls
Or all the years of smoking things against the law
'cause how could someone not believe in santa claus?
Poor daddy

How can little old me be the only rational one?
To all of you who've never believed
You can take it up with him when he comes

But poor mom and dad don't believe in santa claus
They need to be in therapy, i mean they seem pretty lost
'cause santa was the greatest dude there ever was
So how can people not believe in santa claus?
Poor mama
Poor daddy