Am   G   F   G


[Verse 1]
Am
Driving with a yellow dog, I-95
           G
He's got a smile on his face and big shiny eyes
F
Up at a decent hour, never ate yet
      G
Got a little Johnny Cash in the ol' tape deck
Am
Nothing in the trunk but some baseball gloves
  G
A pair of jumper cables and a set of golf clubs
F
Blanket on the back seat, we're in rough shape
    G
Sunroof held on with a bit of duct tape
Am
Looking for a gas station, better make a list
G
Fill'er up with regular, I need to take a piss
     F
Sexy girl air freshener, snacks and that pinwheel
G
Top up the fluids, clean the bugs off the windshield
Am
Not a care in the world, not a how and a why
G
No destination, not a cloud in the sky
F
Back on the road not a moment too soon
G
Dish ran away with some other spoon


[Chorus]
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress


[Verse 2]
Am
Hole in the muffler, ghosts on the shoulder
G
Cough drops, loose change in the beverage holder
   F
To roll down the window, you gotta use a wrench
G
Been thinking about brushing up on my French
      Am
Right there in the glove box, if you should look
            G
You'll find 40 parking tickets and a copy of the Good Book
F
Don't bother looking, you'll never find me
    G
I'm starting from scratch and leaving trouble behind me


[Chorus]
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress


[Verse 3]
Am
Christ Almighty, there's a rattle in the wheel well
G
Dog fell asleep and man, I don't feel well
F
But all I need's a half decent breakfast
G
And I'll be back at it, dirty and reckless
Am
Five o'clock shadow, lips like mudflaps
G
Hands like eagle's talons, eyes like hub caps
    F
The further I get, I keep goin' faster
G
Whispers in the wind and cows in the pasture
  Am
I have no plans and nothin' to prove either
  G
I eat out of a bag and sleep in a movie theatre
    F
The highway's a story teller, I just write it down
G
Already been beaten, there's no way to fight it now
  Am
I just kick back and keep warm on the cold days
    G
And laugh cause it ain't like it was in the old days
  F
I figure when I make it to the Heavenly gates
           G
They'll be working on my car and playing '78's


[Chorus]
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress
Am
Wicked and weird, I'm a road hog
            G
With an old dog singing slow songs, tryin'a hold on
F
Wicked and weird, I'm a rat fish
             G
Tryin'a practice doin' back flips on your mattress