Everything in this world is cheap and nasty.
Everything in this world is cursed and vile.
Those vodka girls don't look so wholesome.
Those vodka girls don't make me smile.
Cleft-hoof clatter on the sidewalk, give yourself a heart-attack,
Girl-effect in full effect, get back.
Play-Do Fergiana rope-light nightmare:
Cardboard hair and REM, good God!
( Yes, REM the band )
Don't waste my time on those vodka girls.

Wake up, Australia, in her front room.
Then she's out for the Count Of Disco Doom.
Club Schizo, Cafe Nada... blimey! This one likes a laugh.
For breakfast she has skinheads on a raft
( Stupid schoolkids' slang for baked beans on toast. )

Don't waste my time on those vodka girls.

I'm blowing up my ugly balloon
A few hard blows and I can have some laughs.
I'm blowing up my ugly balloon
I'm gonna blow your plastic paradise in half

This time it's personal, this time it's true.
This time I'm sick of living in a zoo.

Don't waste my time on those vodka girls.

I'm blowing up my ugly balloon:
A few good blows and I'm ready for some laughs.
I'm blowing up my ugly, ugly, ugly balloon;
I'm gonna blow your little world in half.
Ten... nine... eight... seven... six... five... four... three... two... one...
BOOM!
(Sounds of sheep in distress)