You've heard of several kinds of cat
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character

You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names
Our habits and our habitat
But how would you ad-dress a cat?

So, first, your memory I'll jog
And say: A cat is not a dog
(So, first, your memory I'll jog)
(And say: A cat is not a dog)

With cats, some say one rule is true
Don't speak till you are spoken to
Myself I do not hold with that
I say: You should ad-dress a cat
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity

You bow, and taking off your hat
Ad-dress him in this form
Oh, Cat!

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream

And you might now and then supply
Some caviar or Strasbourg pie
Some potted grouse or salmon paste
He's sure to have his personal taste
And so, in time, you'll reach your aim
And call him by his name

(So this is this and that is that)
(And that's how you ad-dress a cat)
(A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect)
(So this is this and that is that)
(And that's how you ad-dress a cat)

(So this is this and that is that)
(And that's how you ad-dress a cat)
(A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect)
(So this is this and that is that)
(And that's how you ad-dress a cat)