Here's a happy tune, a happy tune
You'll love to croon, you love to croon
They call it Dean's song

Hey, you don't seem to understand
Catchy as can be, I must agree
The melody, the melody
They call it Dean's song

Looks like I'm gonna have to explain this thing
You don't dig this scene
I'm saying, Dean, the song is Sam's song
Sam, you're just a ham
But Dean here's the scam
The song was named after Sam
Sam who? Sam Houston

May I say with pride where I reside
They call it Dean's song
And that's quite a group you have going for you
There's no bigger choir that you could hire for singing Dean's song
They make the Mormon Tabernacle sound like a trio

Sam it's plain to see that you're put out with me
Well I'm not just singing along
Tell you what I'll do since I'm with you
We'll call it Clyde's song
Clyde's song?

Its a sweet melody and I'm happy to say it was named after me but he's calling it
Clyde's song
Catchy as can be
No I don't like to beef and I'm sorry to say the man is a thief 'cause he's calling it
Clyde's song

Nothing on your mind
There's a lot on my mind and I'm standing here saying you're being unkind 'cause you're calling it
Clyde's song

My Italian friend we have reached the end
We don't seem to blend
Sam, let's compromise
Oh, I hear what you say but by that do you mean that you'll do it your way and call it
Sam's song

Did he say Sam's song?
Let's give the ending a rhyme
But don't nobody tell Clyde
That the name of this song is Sam's song
It's not Irving's song
Sam's song
It's not even Mona's song
Sam's song

Only thing I know is when this record comes out it better have Sam's song on it
Or else you'll get a nasty letter from Calhoun and a telephone call too
Mm, I'm thinking you're starting to get dirty down there