Turtles drinking whiskey, robots serving pie
bowling balls smoking stogies saying hi to passersby
a singing telegram, that sings all by itself
and a millionaire that likes to share all of his wealth
a bandit cowboy cactus, a 16 legged cow
and a skunk that just can't figure out, damn, what's that smell?
a zebra colored cheetah, rodents wearing socks
elephants riding on the backs of their own giant cocks

all this and more is here so come and see

Welcome to a place that you'll never frown
a twisted little place called Crazy Town
Where a horse is the mayor of all of us
and he loves to cuss

Turtles drinking whiskey, an emu sporting cords
water balloons settling allt heir battles with some plastic swords
a platypus dressed like rambo, a drunken ninja mule
every single fish in the world traveling in one giant school

you'll never have to wait in line to have a pee (never wait in line to pee)
cuz wherever you go is just fine with me

Welcome to a place that you'll never frown
a twisted little place called Crazy Town
Where a horse is the mayor of all of us
and his cursing has become a little bit offensive
Go pants-less or maybe in just a gown
because anything goes here in Crazy Town
wear a hula skirt, a wig, or just drool a lot
I'm only wearing one sock

so the outside world can be a little bit frightening
and you're looking for a place that's sort of enlightening
set yourself free and you will see
so go a little crazy and join me

Welcome to a place that you'll never frown
a twisted little place called Crazy Town
Where a horse is the mayor of all of us
and his favorite words can not be said on television
Go pants-less or maybe in just a gown
because anything goes here in Crazy Town
wear a hula skirt, a wig, or just drool a lot
I'm only wearing one sock