E A When you've had too much to drink E there's certain things to keep in mind. A B Like when you find your hands and underarms are bleeding A your beer bottle might not have a twist off cap E and don't ever go home with a woman they call Moose or Vince F# B And never bet that you can fit your head inside a glove compartment A Get drunk with dignity E B Keep in mind that just because a bulldog licks your face E its not necessary to lick him back A E Stay away from drinks with names like brain seizure or hippo laxative B E Get drunk with dignity E A E If a bar has human ears nailed to the walls don't pass out there A B and if your homemade jelly has some goldfish in it ------- you used the wrong bowl A E And there are phrases you must learn to avoid phrases like F# B "that badge looks stupid" and "I can prove these shoes are fireproof" A E Get drunk with dignity try not to drool on bikers B E Don't moon a nun unless you got a real good reason A E Don't get romantically involved with farm machinery B E Get drunk with dignity.
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