Yes you're really gorgeous,
Very nearly flawless,
But why didn't your ma' teach you to dance.
Yes you're really gorgeous,
Your arse should win awards, yeah.
Why didn't your ma' teach you to dance (Yo).

Jennifer, skin was like cinnamon,
Took her for dinner and then to the cinema,
One week, still hadn't been with her,
Took her out clubbin', that's when I knew,
Soon as she wiggled I'd seen something similar,
I'm in the middle tryin' to get rid of her,
I've heard a rule, a line you should tread,
If she can't dance she's rubbish in bed!

Slow down pretty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance,
You might be witty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance.

Yes you really gorgeous,
Very nearly flawless,
But why didn't your ma' teach you to dance.
Yes you're really gorgeous,
Your arse should win awards, yeah.
Why didn't your ma' teach you to dance (Ah ha).

You might have the chat and the batty to match,
I'm looking good when you're sat in my lap,
Your body is banging I'm happy with that,
But you ain't got rhythm and that is a fact,
Spillin' your drink, steppin' on toes,
A pussy cat doll you're not, NO!
I've heard a rule, you might've read,
If she can't dance she's rubbish in bed.

Slow down pretty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance,
You might be witty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance.

Watch your glass,
Watch your feet,
Pay some attention to what's in the beat,
Watch your feet,
Watch your glass,
Watch the way you shake that, shake that, shake that, shake that, shake...

You walk the walk and talk the talk,
Know how to use a knife and fork,
You smell just like a girl should smell,
Mademoiselle, by Channel,
Tick all the boxes except for one,
It's pretty important 'cos this is a lot,
The dancing box is whether or not,
You're good at banging and clearly you're not.

Slow down pretty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance,
You might be witty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity.

Slow down pretty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance,
You might be witty,
Girl you can't dance,
It's such a pity,
Girl you can't dance.