I woke up on the barroom floor, stuck to vomit and booze
The world stares at me sideways—have I become the ultimate fool?
They said you jumped the graveyard fence, smashing crosses left and right
Then took a dump on a poor drunk and yelled it was your God-given right!

What the hell happened? My brain’s a bottomless pit
Drank so much last night, I became the clown of all this shit!

Drunken chaos, lost every shred of dignity
Turned the night into a circus of my insanity!
Shitting on a dog, dropkicked a guy in a wheelchair
I’m the bottle’s bastard, a whirlwind of despair!

Now they’re telling me stories that make me want to disappear
You pissed in the fountain and danced around naked with no fear!
Then proposed to a streetlamp, made a speech like it was real
Sang opera at a funeral, got kicked out for your surreal appeal!

A night of utter madness, I became the king of disgrace
Every sip of that poison turned the world into my shameful stage!
[Chorus]
Drunken chaos, lost every shred of dignity
Turned the night into a circus of my insanity!
Shitting on a dog, dropkicked a guy in a wheelchair
I’m the bottle’s bastard, a whirlwind of despair!

Who hasn’t fucked up before? Cast the first damn stone
But I’ve become the living joke, a shame carved in bone
They tattooed Loser on my chest while I was out cold
Now I’m just the punchline nobody wants to be told!

Drunken chaos, lost every shred of dignity
Turned the night into a circus of my insanity!
Shitting on a dog, dropkicked a guy in a wheelchair
I’m the bottle’s bastard, a whirlwind of despair!