Nobody wants to live in Alaska
It's cold and snowy every day
The kids have no concerts to go to
No parks in which to play
They live in the dark for half of the year
And in the sun for the other part
I'd kill myself if I lived in Juneau
I'd hate to live in that place

Move away from Alaska
it's a cold useless wasteland
Come somewhere that matters

I felt like I lived in Alaska once
I felt like a worthless zombie
I binged on LSD for the week
And was struck with insomnia
I wanted to die at that point
No life, no love, just nothing
Alaska's like that
So just leave that dumb place