Bender
People say my broken friend is useless
But I say his mind is free
There's lots of things my mangled robot
friend could be
He could make a good hat rack

Beck
He only has to stand there

Bender
Or a cheap door stop

Beck
He doesn't need to move

Bender
Or a great big giant thermos
With a twist off top

Beck
That would be good for soup

Bender
He could be a storage closet

Bender,Beck
For outdated pants

Beck
I like 'em tight

Bender
My broken friend could do it all

Bender, Beck
Just give him a chance

Bender
That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share

Beck
For real?

Bender
My broken friend is closer to me
than an ass to a chair
That robots name I never told you
You could not foresee
I'll say it loud and sing it proud

Bender, Beck
His name is you and me

Bender
Don't melt me down into a crow bar

Beck
It suffers alone

Bender
Just cause I can't move my arms and legs
Or toss me into a trash can
Just cause I can't cook you ham and eggs
Don't crush me into an anchor

Just because I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you my broken friend
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care
I'm telling you my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!