D Bm D Bm [Verse 1]D Bm D Bm I feel like a beggar accepting alms, then being pelted with figs.D Bm D Bm I study my steadily declining chart placings; they greet me with freezing cold inhospitality,D Bm D Bm Hey, where did that bloke go who said I was vital?D Bm D Bm I possess the mild air of a retail tobacconist, that’s because I’m a retail tobacconistD Bm D Bm But the mayflies on a Berkshire trout river would probably tell you a different storyD Bm About ham-fisted diadems and momentary daydreamsD Bm Of mythical dividends and illusory boardroom seats. [Instrumental]D Bm D Bm C D D Bm D Bm [Verse 2]D Bm D Bm In the room festooned with fat beef certificates from county showsD Bm D Bm Duff Leg Bryn had drank too much again, most of Wem was steering clear of himD Bm D Bm “I’ve got no time for this twelfth consecutive Rose Bowl”D Bm D Bm ‘Cos on Sunday next at ten to four I’ve got an invitation forD Bm D Bm A trip round Kathrine Hamnett’s warehouse, followed by dinner with David EmanuelD Bm D Bm Who I can’t wait to tell about my dream in which the almost illegal Elton WelsbyD Bm D Bm Is dressed as a French maid on a moonless byway, licking his lips as he creeps ever closerD Bm D Bm Fast falls the eventide, fast falls the eventide. [Instrumental]D Bm D Bm C D D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm [Verse 3]D Bm The public appearance of bitter ex-soap starsD Bm D Bm Who thought they could go on and do other things besidesD Bm The Centre Court amusement at the ballboy’s mishapD Bm That bobbing up and down thing that they do at the PromsD Bm D Opinionated weather forecasters telling me it’s going to be a miserable dayBm D Bm Miserable to who? I quite like a bit of drizzle, so stick to the facts. [Instrumental]D Bm D Bm Em D Em D [Verse 4]Em D Em D Channel Four presents “Blowjob” introduced by Adrian and Sophie HornEm D Em D Who is of course one bloke with a pierced dick who’s just had the nod from Planet 24.Em D Em D Hear him say “surreal, bizarre, sad git, yes indeedy, completely and utterlyEm D Em D Footy, anorak and respect” before whipping the audience up into doing the Time Warp.Em D Watch him take us live to “The Queen’s Arse and Firkin”Em D Where Joseph Bloggs And His Amazing Technicolor ShellsuitEm D Are about to abort their Steely Dan routineEm D Em D And instead embark upon fifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah. [Bridge] N.C. Fifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah. N.C. Fifteen minutes of mantra-filled oompah.Em D Em Adrian stroke Sophie wants us, the viewers to ring inD And say how we think the punters will react.Em D Em These are a few of my favourite things. [Instrumental]D Bm D Bm D Bm D Bm [Verse 5]D Bm I’m incredibly bored with the word “millennium”D Bm I’m with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.D Bm Millions now earmarked will later be wastedD Bm Her Majesty, marvellous, Mother – The Musical.D Bm The fireworks lighting up the Houses of ParliamentD Bm Death in Trafalgar Square, death in the armchairD Bm Of clichéd old spinsters who’ve never been loved. [Verse 6]D Bm D Bm Every day is Australia Day, “Sons and Daughters” and “Home and Away”D Bm And then the news comes on and the sound goes downD Bm ‘Cos she can’t be bothered with all them politiciansD Bm D Bm They’re all just a bunch of flaming drongo’s.D Bm She died with her telly on, eighty-seven and confusedD Bm With not enough hospital beds ‘cos all the money’s been usedD Bm On the end of the century party preparationsD Bm And they reckon that the last thing she saw in her life wasD Bm D Bm Sting singing on the roof of the Barbican, Sting singing on the roof of the Barbican. [Instrumental]D Bm D Bm C D [Outro]E A E T for Toxteth, T for Tennessee; T for Toxteth, T for TennesseeB7 E T for Thatcher, that girl hath made a wreck out of me.B7 E B7 Old lady labelled me an idle, old lady labelled me an idleE B7 E A E A E A E Old lady labelled me an idle layabout. Layabout. Layabout.
A Country Practice
Half Man Half Biscuit
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Continua depois do anúncio
Tom: