Albert Hammond Bootleg

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Dragging my guitar 'round maternity ward
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I was in search of the umbilical chord
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But it was all in vain so I jumped on a train
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And when I reached my home the kids were on the patio
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Looking quite upset, so I asked them what was wrong
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And they said "beware - there's an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house
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In there, an Albert Hammond bootleg in the house, some man
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Who introduced himself as Stanley Rous came in
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And left his Albert Hammond bootleg in the house".
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Talking to a girl on the south coast of France
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She was on an 18-30 but I still took a chance
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But on the last night 'neath the stars of Marseilles
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She said that Robin Askwith was funny.
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Oh God, how I longed for a dangerous wave
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So I could surf myself towards an early grave
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I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you
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I hope your plane back home's a DC 10.
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Oh God, how I longed for a dangerous wave
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So I could surf myself towards an early grave
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I would rather talk to plankton than to dance with you
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I hope your plane back home's a DC 10.
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
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Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh really.
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Out of pure curiosity I dug up Logie Baird
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And I asked him what Petrified Forests see to make them all so scared.