D                G
Well, I went in for some medicine
               A
Feelin' like a wounded soldier, deathly pale
      D                   G
And a woman did come to my bedside
  A
A regular Florence Nightingale
           D                             G
But my girlfriend just wasn't having the comparison
          A
So I back-pedaled, said
"Okay then, how bout Mary Magdalene?"

[Verse 2]
                            A
Anyway, I was reminded of a dream I had
      G
As my confidence came and went
                             A
Where all the girls from the nineties
              D                    G
Were singing "Just Around the Riverbend"
D                 A Bm     A    G
All along the banks of the Arkansas
                    A
And I paddled through in a dugout canoe
                                   G
I was a John Smith cartoon, with a strong jaw

[Verse 3]
           D
Listen I'm white, middle-class and male
And the dream does tell a tale
   G
Of Whiteness dreaming of Whiteness
       A
With a want for wisdom that might tip the scale
       Bm                     A
Cus my friend and I felt an affinity
         G
With the tribes in the documentary
     A                                             Gmaj7
That plays on a loop in the backmost wing of the Museum of Natural History
          A
But my imperialist didn't suddenly die
He just loosened his tie
    G               A
And took a knee and Disneyland never made a man
      Gmaj7
That's all just false idolatry
That's all just false I-

[Chorus]

A                F#m
  Florence Nightingale
G                F#m
 Comes in with a lamp
             Em7
They say, oh oh
          D      C    D   Bm
On stormy nights when the wound's
       A
Remembering
G                      A
 Talks to me about that photograph
G                        A
 Me and my brother on the sidewalk
G                        A
 Holding squirt guns and squinting in the sun
G                          A
 That was the summer I was nine

[Verse 4]

Well it's a sunny day
               A
At Sugar Sugar High School
        G
And the quarterback and track star
          Gmaj7
Are cuttin' class and shootin' pool
                    D                    A
Well this is not to say that they should be in class
                       G   Gmaj7
Still why they have to be,       such assholes?
(Assholes)
        Bm             A
It's as if we men just want to be
G
 Picked up sequentially
    A
And held to the breast of a giantess
   Gmaj7             G
Who stands ten miles out at sea
            A
Or, alternatively, we could find success
You know really be the best then maybe we could rest
Gmaj7
   Upon our father's knee


[Chorus]

A                F#m
 Florence Nightingale
G                F#m
 Comes in with a lamp
             Em7
They say, oh oh
          D      C    D   Bm
On stormy nights when the wound's
        A
Remembering
G                      A
 Talks to me about that photograph
G                        A
 Me and my brother on the sidewalk
G                        A
 Holding squirt guns and squinting in the sun
G                          A
 That was the summer I was nine

[Verse 5]
G    Gmaj7 F#m
 Mary Magdalene
G           F#m               Em7
 Was at Golgotha, they say, oooh
            D  C  Bm                  A
She saw the water   separate from the blood
G                   A
 And I look at that painting
G                  A         Gmaj7             A
 Of him hanging so peacefully with Mary by his bleeding side
Gmaj7                       A
  That was the summer he was 33