If some of my friends could be monkeys
They would have four hands and understand me

David:
I wish my girlfriend was a monkey
With her four hands she would grab me at night
I would have her on a leash climbing up the trees
And she could steal a lot of things for me
I showed her to some kids at night
They would pet her head to make her feel fine

Jack:
My best friend used to be a monkey
And now he's a Neanderthal
He makes 4.50 and hour at the local mall
And I feel bad for him
Because we used to be best friends
And now he's gotta wear that stupid hat
and it fucks with his pride

Lisa:
Monkey-brain soup
At a monkey-brain party
Monkey-man suit
At a monkey-man party
Lyrics
They are just like us but a little bit feeble
They are just like us but a little bit fecal
Monkeys are cool and sweet
And they make a good pet-name for someone you love