I'm the cop in a little bitty town and i don't get much pay
Oh but i caught seventeen out of state cars and four of my friends today
Yeah i let the hometown boys go home they paid five dollars bail
Oh but all the drivers in the out of state cars had to go to jail

Well they hollered and they moaned and they cried and they groaned
They all swore that they'd sue
But the judge was high and so was i and we needed the money too

Yeah the judge and me got a deal you see we split the money fair
Except for thirty percent to the county seat to keep the law out of our hair

And old charlie's working out real good
Down at the corner store where the red light is
He sees them out of state plates two blocks away
And when they get right up on top of that green light
Old charlie pushes that secret button underneath the corner drugstore counter
That yellow light only lasts for a tenth of a second

Oh the county pays me about forty a week ain't that the living end
If it wasn't for them tourists in them out of state cars i'd have no look to spend
But the way it stands this year so far i've made a hundred thou
For a high school dropout i'm a doin' fine
I make more than the president now
Of course he's honest

So if you're driving down the road and flashing lights you see
If they're on a top of a red rolls royce you can bet your boots it's me
Cause i'm the cop in a little bitty town and i'd sure like to see
All the drivers in them out of state cars try to get by me