The Drunk Scotsman

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Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
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And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his
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 share
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He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet
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Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
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He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

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About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
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And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
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See young sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
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I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
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I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

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They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
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Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
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And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
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Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
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Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

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They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
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Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
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As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
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Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
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Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show

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Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward the trees
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Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
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And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
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O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
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Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh
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O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize