[1st verse:]
Johnny took Geraldine out one night to show her a wonderful time
When they sat down in a Cabaret, he bought two cigars for a dime
"Bring us a couple of sodas" Johnny cried when the waiter drew near
After an hour Miss Geraldine whispered in Johnny's ear

[Refrain:]
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home, take me home
I want you to know that I'm choking
From that five cent cigar that you're smoking
You came out with a one dollar bill
You've got eighty cents left of it still
If that's your idea of a wonderful time
Take me home

[2nd verse:]
Johnny looked foolish and said "My dear, the evening has only begun
I'll take you down to a picture show where we'll have a barrel of fun
I know the fellow who owns the place, I'll ask him to pass us inside"
Geraldine looked into Johnny's face, shaking her head, she cried