[As sung in film:]
You thought that many, many years ago
You saw the last of every soldier show
But here we are, yes, here we are again
A lot of water's gone across the dam
Since we put make-up on for Uncle Sam
To treat you as our fathers treated you then

We were drafted by our President
And we march with banners unfurled
We were drilled and trained to represent
The greatest army in the world
Yes, the greatest army of actors in the world

Now don't get us wrong
We're not here for long
Our stay in the theater is brief
We're here with the show
To help get some dough
Some dough for the Army Relief
The much-needed Army Relief

But beneath the powder and beneath the paint
There's a soldier brave and true
If some guy in Congress tells you that we ain't
Let him do what we had to do
And go through what we went through