Kinky Friedman - They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' Lone
Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
"They oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City
one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God's
only son."

I said, "Has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not
very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ."
"You know, you don't look Jewish," he said, "near as I
could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country
nigger."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin' and a-spittin' on the floor,
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore."

He says, "I ain't a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one
Greek we don't need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.

And wops 'n micks 'n slopes 'n spics 'n spooks are on my
list
And there's one little hebe from the heart of Texas - is
there anyone I missed ? "

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the
eyes.
I says, "I'm gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for
spoutin' that pack of lies.
If there's one thing I can't abide, it's an ethnocentric
racist;
Now you take back that thing you said 'bout Aristitle
Onassis."

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
"Lord, they sho' ain't makin' Jews like Jesus
anymore!"
All right!

No, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain't makin' carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out
the door
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"

No, we ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don't turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin' as I strolled right out
the door
"Lord, they ain't makin' Jews like Jesus anymore!"