Eb
Dear Mavis I'm compelled to write this letter
C
In the hope that you will soon be feeling better
Eb
I've a feeling you should go and see a doctor
C
If you haven't then you know you really oughta
Ab                                             F
I was worried so I went to see the vicar but before I could confess
F
He did confess to be a stripper
Eb                                         C
Dear Mavis it was very strange to see him so I thought I'd write and ask for your opinion
Eb
Should I grass on him report him to the cardinal 
C
Or whether I should egg him on to turn professional
Ab
If I dob on him they'll call him plastic scouser 
F
But the only thing the stripper vicar wears (is plastic trousers)
C   B    A    G            F     C    C  B   A   G       F       G
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really
C                            F                     C                 F
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive
               G                   F           
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it
Eb                                             C                                         
Dear Mavis I thought I'd follow up my letter drop a line about the fate of our poor vicar
Eb                                            C
Very tragically his time on earth has ended found him hanging in his stockings and suspender
Ab                                                       F
Dear Mavis if you tell us what your thoughts are and I hope they're not biased
F
(Cos you are the vicars daughter)
   B    A    G            F     C    C  B   A   G       F       G
Mavis' opinion is all we really seek Mavis' opinion is all we really
C                            F                     C                 F
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive

C
And we know him as our vicar and by night a part time stripper
F
And he's making wine from water while he dresses like his daughter
C
And we know that he's a rip off cos we've seen him with his kit off
F
C                            F                     C                 F
Should we lie,  while he's still alive  should we lie,  while he's still alive
               G                   F           
Cos when the vicar strips he gets away with it