The Tomato Vendetta

D A D A

[Verse 1]
D
This song’s about the Tomato Vendetta,
A
and the tale of a man who let a
D
Hate for tomatoes cause him strife,
A                                               D
He lost his job, wife, home, car, kids, and life.

[Bridge 1]
D7
He’d go downtown to buy some groceries,
G
He went because his family was hungry,
D
He always bought red meat and potatoes
A                                        D
But he wouldn’t touch those ugly tomatoes…

[Verse 2]
D
He didn’t know why he hated tomatoes,
A
They were just as ugly as far as ugly goes,
D
There in the store, when no-one was watchin’,
A                                                   D
He’d set melons on them and laugh at their squashin’.

[Bridge 2]
D7
One night after shopping and on his way home,
G
His loathing for tomatoes cut to the bone,
D
He just couldn’t stand the strain any more,
A                                   D
He vowed to destroy the Tomato Horde.

[Verse 3]
D
He turned around, and viciously hopin’
A
The grocery stores would still be open,
Bm
His eyes grew cold, for he was a man,
A                                      D
Whose Moment of Truth lay close at hand.

[Bridge 3]
D7
All over town, in every store,
G
Tomatoes were hurt and spilled on the floor,
D
Big melons, and turkeys, and large sacks of grits,
A                                                 D
Were dumped on their sections to mash them to bits.

[Verse 4]
D
At the last store he finished his plan,
A
But on his way out, a delivery van,
        D
Full of big ripe Tomatoes drove in and hit him,
A                                     D
Tomato Vendetta had claimed its victim.

[Bridge 4]
D7
The incident of the Tomato Vendetta,
G
Caused a sensation that was something that the
D
Public could relish, and readily snatch-up,
A
Popularly known as the tomato ketchup…