have you been there
where our father's thoughts
plaited with
our mother's glances
somewhere on the top
where I try to climb up
the creaking stairs
were you there safe

now - the fog of my existence
feet over the earth

I gather my strength
to tear my sinews and cut my skin
for you
to swallow my worthless blood

I engrave the most awful dream
on your memory
what was my martyrs life

it's the first time
when consciousness
is heavier than flesh