You say chump and I turn around
'Cause that's what I answer to now
Or if you want, call me Main Street
'Cause you walk all over me

My friends all say I must be slow
They knew donkey's ears ago
I prefer to say I'm special
Even if you no longer think so

Please accept my congrats
You put on quite an act
You really had me fooled
You really pulled the wool

Ostrich-like, head in the sand
I always walk right into your plan
It's a hoot, it's a lark
To keep old chump in the dark

You devised a clever game
But the outcome's always the same
Just a slight shove and I fall for it
It never fails, you'll never quit

Please accept my congrats
You put on quite an act
You really had me fooled
You really pulled the wool

You say chump and I turn around
'Cause that's what I answer to now
Or if you want, call me Main Street
'Cause you walk all over me

My friends all say I must be slow
They knew donkey's ears ago
I prefer to say I'm special
Even if you no longer think so

Please accept my congrats
You put on quite an act
You really had me fooled
You really pulled the wool

By the time you confess
I could not care less
Here's the final twist
I already knew 'bout it