D           A         B    G
and the bastard you hated the most
         D           A         B    G
will stand up and give you a toast
                     D           A         B              G
he'll say, "we were such good friends, especially near the end"
 D                        A    G    D       G         A
then he'll feel up your girlfriend in the front of your ghost

B                      G
so get in your car and drive real fast, 
D                               A
up in the attic the with a shotgun blast, 
B                  G
take a bath with a clock radio
D                  A
vodka and valium overdose
F#             G                   A
have you ever tried? there must be 5000 ways to die

Chords
   B   G   A    D    F#
E|-------------------------|
B|-------------------------|
G|--4------------7---------|
D|--4---5---7----7----4----|
A|--2---5---7----5----4----|
E|------3---5---------2----|