A Simple Desultory Philippic

      G             Bb
I was Union Jacked, Kerouac'd
C             Eb
John Birched, stopped and searched
G                  A7      C        D
Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
           G           Bb
 I've been Ayn Randed, nearly branded
C              Eb
Communist 'cos I'm lefthanded:
G                    A7               G     C Eb G G  C Eb G G
That's the hand they use, well, never mind!

[Verse 2]
          G              Bb
I've been Walt Disneyed, Dis Disleyed
C              Eb
John Lennoned, Krishna Menoned
G              A7          C       D
Walter Brennan punched out Cassius Clay
      G                    Bb
 I've heard the truth from Lenny Bruce
    C                   Eb
and all my wealth won't buy me health
G             D             G   C Eb G G  C Eb G G
 So I smoke a pint of tea a day

[Verse 3]
                           F
 I knew a man his brain so small,
                                G
He couldn't think of nothin' at all.
                     C
He's not the same as you and me.
                       F
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
             G                                     C
When you say Dylan, he thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas,

Whoever he is.
    F                G
The man ain't got no culture,

But its alright, Ma,
                                      C
It's just sumpthin' I learned over in England.

[Verse 4]
          G             Bb
I've been James Joyced, Rolls Royced
C              Eb
Mick Jaggered, silver daggered
G                     A7          D
Andy Warhol won't you please come home?
          G                 Bb
I've been mother, fathered, aunt and uncled
C                 Eb
Tom Wilsoned, Art Garfunkled
G                A7              G
Barry Kornfeld's mother's on the phone
G               Bb
When in London, do as I do
C               Eb
Find yourself a friendly haiku
G                D              G
 Go to sleep for ten or fifteen years