Family Man

[Chords]
A         C#m       Bm        D         E         F#m
E|--5--| |--4--|   |--2--|   |--2--|   |--0--|   |--2--| 
B|--5--| |--5--|   |--3--|   |--3--|   |--0--|   |--2--| 
G|--6--| |--6--|   |--4--|   |--2--|   |--1--|   |--2--| 
D|--7--| |--6--|   |--4--|   |--0--|   |--2--|   |--4--| 
A|--7--| |--4--|   |--2--|   |--x--|   |--2--|   |--4--| 
E|--5--| |--4--|   |--2--|   |--x--|   |--0--|   |--2--| 


[Intro]
A C#m Bm Bm


[Verse 1]
          A                 C#m
I'm tied down, I'm locked up
             D                              Bm
I don't make independent decisions, but my wife says that I don't miss it
        A                   C#m
My old friends, they don't call
             D                                          Bm
In fact this weekend they're riding skidoos, while I'm taking my kids to three zoos

        Bm                   D
But the third zoo isn't exactly a zoo
              E
It's a family counselor dressed like a raccoon


[Chorus]
             A             F#m                  C#m
I'm a family man, living according to a family plan
       E                            F#m
I just found somebody's feces on my hand
          D                  E
I grab a towel that's monogrammed
                    A
'Cause I'm a family man


[Verse 2]
         A             C#m
I don't have, a dream job
          D                             Bm
I bust my butt everyday from 9 to 5 to finance the dreams of my kids and wife
         A                   C#m
And my wife, has a business idea
             D                                 Bm
She wants to sell these teeny tiny hats, made especially for little baby cats

Bm                        D
Notice that I didn't say kitten
        E
My wife says that a baby cat is something different


[Chorus]
              A
I'm a family man
F#m                     C#m
We all don't fit in a sedan
         E                                 F#m
My last child, that spawn of Satan, was unplanned
           D            E
Please cut my vas deferens
              A
I'm a family man
              A
I'm a family man