A  5-7-7-6-5-5
D  x-5-7-7-7-x  or
D  x-5-7-7-7-5
G  3-5-5-4-3-3
      

Verse 1:

One, two, three...
        D           G
Is that dandruff or parmesan?
D                G
Your guess is as good as mine
          D            G           A
cause you can't zoom in on Instagram
          D              G
Is that a tabby cat or a marmoset?
D             G
I'm not quite willing to bet
          D            G           A
cause you can't zoom in on Instagram



Bridge:

    G                            D
And even though I know you can't do it -It's just not a capability of the platform
G 
that doesn't stop me
     A  Stop
from trying to zoom it



Chorus:

       D
No you can't zoom in
     G
when Instagram'n 
     A
your reverse pinchin'
         D
won't do nothing -What do you think this is, Facebook?
       D
Except in the end
         G
when you accidently
       D
end up double clickin'
    G
and likin'...

G
Your bosses wife's skimpy Hawaiian bikini photo -You gonna get fired
G
Your ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's workout pics -You gonna get beat up
G
A clydesdale relieving himself



Verse 2:

          D          G
Is that a Frito or a fingernail
     D            G
Katy Perry or Zoe Deschanel?
         D            G
Is that a booger or a nose ring
   A  Stop
an evil space monkey -or just a monkey?
        D                       G
Is that salad in her teeth or a diastema
          D                  G
Is that a sharpei or just my grandma?
          D                G
is that a brown bear or my dad's back
  A  Stop
a bent arm -or a butt crack?


Bridge:

    G                            D
And even though I know you can't do it

Well technically you can override it in your accessibility settings
G
that doesn't stop me
     A  Stop
from trying to zoom it


Chorus:

       D
No you can't zoom in
     G
when Instagram'n
     A
your reverse pinchin'
         D
won't do nothin' -What do you think this is any other photo app?
       D
Except in the end
         G
when you accidently
       A  Stop
end up double clickin'
    G
and likin'...

G
Your crazy Uncle's unintentionally sexist inspirational text post -That's bad
G
Your gym teachers homemade smoked sausage -hashtag "grillin' life" ,hashtag "sausage"
G
Inappropriate
G                               Stop
Another clydesdale relieving himself

-What's your deal with clydesdales?



Outro:
 D
I can't get big on Instagram (can't zoom in)
          G
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics (can't zoom in)
  A
I can't get big on Instagram (on Instagram)
          D
cause you can't Zoom in on my Instagram pics
  D
I can't get big on Instagram
          G
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics
  A
I can't get big on Instagram
          D
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics
  D
I can't get big on Instagram
          G
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics
  A
I can't get big on Instagram
          D
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics (One more time Tay)
  D
I can't get big on Instagram
          G
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics
  A   Stop
I can't get big on Instagram
          D  Stop   
cause you can't zoom in on my Instagram pics