We docked Port at noon, south of Seattle
I was chomping down on some glorious cattle
For tonight we were going on a casino crawl
Gamble our treasure, pleasure for all

The first place we went, had an oderous stench
A smelly old hobo, and an ugly old wench
I hoppped up to her, and winked in her direction
She gazed her eyes down to my pirate erection

With that we made haste
Into the night, what a sight
There's more to enjoy
Now lets go, ahoy

Well we drunk, and we danced
With my good eye I glanced
A hotter wench
With my hook at full mast
Such beauty, what a booty
I whipped out my flask
to have a drink
With my hook at full mast

So i ditched that old carp, and put on my hat
I'm Captain Yarrface; I'm better than that
I stumbled up, to the new bird I spied
I gave her the wink, worked last time I tried

To my surprise, she fell at me knees,
Pulled down my pants, and what did she see?
She wasn't impressed, she'd seen it before
Though my rusty old cannon was standing full bore

I picked up my hat
My pants and my gun, now lets run
There's more to enjoy
Now lets go, ahoy

Well we drunk, and we danced
With my good eye I glanced
A hotter wench
With my hook at full mast
Such beauty, what a booty
I whipped out my flask
to have a drink
With my hook at full mast

Hold on a second
Somebody's stolen my hat
I'm gonna kill everyone in this fucking pub
Starting with you