This one's about how my G.I. Joe came to life
And he kicked in my bedroom door last night
He grabbed me by my genitals
Mad at the fact that he had none of his own

G.I. Joe hates humans
Yet he longs to be one
He envies our power to reproduce
I know, I know cuz he tried to kill me!!!

Daybreak forced him back into his toy box
Where I hurriedly slapped on a padlock
With matches and gasoline, I sent him to "hasbro hell"
Now I can't trust any toy, not even ones made by "Mattel"