[Originally by Elvis Costello]

Don't start that talking
I could talk all night
My mind was sleep walking
While I'm putting the world to rights
Call careers information
Have you got yourself an occupation ?

Oliver's Army is here to stay
Oliver's Army are on their way
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than here today

There was a Checkpoint Charlie
He didn't crack a smile
But it's no laughing party
When you've been on the murder mile
All it takes is one itchy trigger
One more widow one less white nigger

Oliver's Army is here to stay
Oliver's Army are on their way
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than here today
Hong Kong is up for grabs
London is full of Arabs
We could be in Palestine
Overrun by a Chinese line
With the boys from the Mersey and the Thames and the Tyne
But there's no danger
It's a professional career
Though it could be arranged
With just a word in Mr. Churchill's ear
If you're out of luck or out of work
We could send you to Johannesburg

Oliver's Army is here to stay
Oliver's Army are on their way
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than here today
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than here today
And I would rather be anywhere else
Than here today