Woke up this morning feeling like I've been run over
My head feels like I've been going solo with a brick
Crawl to the bathroom, grab the sink, the shower's running
Takes all my will power to stop myself from being sick

I don't know why I always do this to myself
You would've thought I'd learnt my lesson ages ago
I don't know what the hell I got up to last night
But if it carries on I know I haven't got long to go

I'm not in the best of health
But I have done it to myself
I'm not in the best of health
But I can't help that

Went to the doctors
Said I'm coming down with something
And I'm afraid it might lead to a heart attack
He looked me over, gave me his expert opinion
Gave me two tablets and said
"Get lost and don't come back"

I know it's not what you wanna hear
But if you'd just lay off the beer
Then you would live to see another day

If this was a cartoon
Then this song might have a moral, something like
"Don't you go down the same road that I went"
But as it is I'm enjoying myself, getting wasted
Until I don't then the moral thing can go get bent!