Squeeze - Slap And Tickle (Chris Difford & Glenn Tilbrook)
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[Intro]
Em
(Heavy synth sweep effects)

[Verse 1]
Em
She was frigid like a Bible when she met her boyfriend Michael
Em
He took her in his Zephyr they sat like salt and pepper
Em
Looking out across the city from Lover's Leap is pretty
Em
The lights they flick and flutter he told her how he loved her
Em
Next night he called for her, but Dad protected daughter
Em
And told him she was poorly, a lie was told there surely
Em
So Michael felt rejected, this wasn't quite expected
Em
He drove off to his local, where he felt anti-social

[Verse 2]
Em
She cried all night at missing the boy she could be kissing
Em
While he was falling over he drunk himself back sober
Em
And went home in a taxi and crashed out in the back seat
Em
He slept just like a baby which he hadn't done just lately
Em
He saw her in the morning out with his sister Pauline
Em
She felt all shy and soppy, he acted cool and cocky
Em
He said tonight at Charlie's there's going to be a party
Em
I'll meet you at half seven she visualized the heaven

[Chorus]
       A    G           A     Em        A       G       A    Em
If you ever change your mind, which you do from time to time
G                                                                                                       Em
Never chew a pickle with a little slap and tickle, you have to throw the stone to get the pool to ripple

[Verse 3]
Em
That night they danced together it looked like love forever
Em
He put his hand on her leg you should have heard what she said
Em
He tried again much later it seemed to aggravate her
Em
He drove home in silence avoiding all violence
Em
She said let's watch the city from Lover's Leap is pretty
Em
I think I need the fresh air she put a comb through her hair
Em
Then while she turned to kiss him and very nearly missed him
Em
She put her hand on his leg he felt her tongue in his head

[Chorus]
       A    G           A     Em        A       G       A    Em
If you ever change your mind, which you do from time to time
G                                                                                                        Em
Never chew a pickle with a little slap and tickle, you have to throw the stone to get the pool to ripple

[Outro]
Em
(Synth vamp over Em till fade)