It was a costume party where we first met
and you were some kinda mermaid fish
"What a set of gills," I said, "Man, what a seafood dish,"

I dropped my line, i cast my hook, with a "What say later on
we run upstream, baby, mingle fins or just dig right in and spawn,"
the mermaid suits giving me the urge to blow this joint and get submerged with you

Come on baby now nature knows it's a blue lagoon and we don't need clothes
'cause I'm feelin a lot like Jacques Cousteau
and you look to me just like Aquaman's daughter,
let's take off our clothes, baby, jump in the water
Let's immerse ourselves in H-2-O, but baby let's do it al fresco
that means naked

So piece by piece and thread by thread we get to birthday suits at last
The only thing brighter than the moon tonight is my skinny little ass
When two nude bodies take the plunge in one mood inducing dive,
it's a fat aphrodisiac when those endorphins come alive
So let's use these naked dorsal fins to commence some aqua sin tonight, yeah

Deep six your inhibitions, baby, set sail for some sexual fission
And now your pardon I must beg, but that's not my snorkel rubbing against your leg
Come on under cause I know you wanna, it's a feeding frenzy and we're love piranhas

We're like two big horny wet crustaceans trying to get a liquid copulation
that means the f-word

It was a tidal wave of craving, a hurricane with a sweet refrain
Quakes and thunder three feet under, a white monsoon beneath the libido moon
I know I've never seen a wake that large, it could've swamped a river barge

It's three years later and I'm a seaweed head,
well I can't make love unless I'm in a waterbed
I mope around in my scuba suit by the stream
I just suck the air tanks and daydream
'Cause every time I'm at that riverbed there's a part of me that just stands on end

'Cause you ain't never been laid unless you had a romp with a mermaid...
...or a walleye or a brown trout or a dolphin...